It can be hard to live alone as a new widow and often the best option is to move closer to adult children. Having an impartial advocate during the process can make all the difference in getting what you want most.
What are my options?
I recently had the privilege of helping Paul and his mother Lucy. Lucy lives in a Continuous Care Retirement Community (CCRC) that she shared with her husband until he recently passed. Lucy is ready to make a change and wants to live closer to her three adult children who all live within 3 hours of each other. Since Lucy lives out of town I spoke with her on the phone and listened to her concerns. After about an hour I helped her summarize what she needs and wants and we created a list of priorities. #1. She wants to live near a church in her denomination. She has always been involved in her churches and wants to continue to keep that as a significant part of her life. #2. She wants to live in a community with a pool. Lucy keeps healthy with water aerobics and wants to have access to a pool within walking distance. #3. She wants to live near her children. If she can live in a location where no one has to travel more than 2 hours to see her then she will feel that they can help her in a time of emergency. #4. She would like a room on the ground floor. #5. She would like an extra room so that her TV does not have to be in the living room.
Making the calls
After doing some research and reaching out to some facilities that fit her needs, we set up several phone calls to look over my recommendations. We looked at the websites for each community, reviewed her priorities, and looked at the floor plans. We narrowed it down to three communities and scheduled phone calls with each community so that Lucy could ask specific questions.
One of the advantages of working with an Aging Life Care Manager while looking for a community is that we listen to your priorities and help explain what is realistic and what is unavailable. Instead of making the community fit your needs we help compare which one fit's your needs/wants the best. We are also able to help with the "insider" language and help coach you through what questions to ask. When Lucy said, "When I call and ask for the prices, they won't tell me", I knew I was going to be able to help.
If you know of someone who is looking for a senior living community we can help. Navigating this time in your loved one's life can be very complicated and you need experts who can present you with the best options and protect your family. Let us help you take the next steps. Visit www.agingcaremanagement.com to get started.